were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
