My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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