Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
