i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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