Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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