Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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