Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize