well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
