Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
