i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
then he tried to convert me to islam
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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