Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
