My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
