The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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