she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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