I must be too annoying 4 u.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize