So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
