Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
never play flip cup with pint glasses
even my farts smell like vagina
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
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