Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Are we still banned from the library?
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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