Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Randomize
