you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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