This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
