I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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