Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize