Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
