if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
