You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
