Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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