my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize