We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
