i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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