goodnight i made you a song goodbye
one two three fourrrrnication!
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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