Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
