Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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