my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Randomize
