I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
