I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
