grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I could make wine with my vomit
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
