my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
