doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
she looked like the before picture.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
