Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I have fence marks all over my body
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Randomize
