I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Randomize
