I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
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