she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
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