I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize