And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
