Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
