we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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