thus making me awesome and them whores
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
