Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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