She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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