i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
