I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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