Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Life is so much better after having sex.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
