I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
We need to get me chipped asap
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
