My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
