I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
