help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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