My sheets look like a crime scene.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
