You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
