No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
